Post #5: Darklife Journal - A Day In The Life of a Vorpal Bunny Paladin

(We were originally going to run a puff piece about fear in Second Life, but it appears that our contributor Mentat Patchouli was swallowed up by a Worm. More details in an hour, along with a replacement. Hopefully, a rescue crew if our budget can stretch to it.)

(UPDATED: We were originally going to run a replacement puff piece about Escort Parlours in Second Life, but it appears Gideon Television has done a much better job than any one of us could have done. Those responsible have been shot by the chief, then resurrected, then shot again, ad nauseaum.)

(UPDATED YET AGAIN: And now for something completely different but publishable. Vorpal Bunny Paladin!)

(Patychoulli Woolluhraa in her combat armor. Specially tailored to follow the old rule of armor for women: less coverage, more protection!)

Written thisth Twenty-Nineth Of Decembre, Two Thousande And Sixeth
By: Vorpal Bunny Paladin Neophyte Patychoulli Woolluhraa

Some days, I get asked... "Patychoulli, what is it that you accomplish every day in Agni?" I have a pretty busy schedule, and today I will write about it...

Cock's first crow: Annoys me to blazes. Make mental note to ask Chief Patchouli about spatchcock cockerel for breakfast one of these days.

Cock's second crow: Dressed up and ready to take to the field for another day of slaying all manner of foul beasties, such as rats, Culinas and the foul Manitou...

Most of the morning: Bashing said creatures. I die once or twice, but thanks to the magic of Dark Life, I am resurrected and sent back into the field with little damage... except for maybe a bit of forgetfulness.

(Patychoulli Woolluhraa confronting the fiercesome Praying Manitou. EN GARDE! (She died for the first time of the day shortly after this picture was taken - ED.) )

Midday: All this fighting and spellcasting works up a major appetite. I find a quiet spot, get out my iron rations and Oriental green tea, and waste some time in the forests relaxing...

(Patychoulli having a moment of peace at lunchtime. (HEY - MY SCHOOL LUNCH COOKIE! :( - Patchey) )

Afternoon: more pain and suffering. Mostly inflicted on Manitous, but not totally... (pained sigh)

(Patychoulli Woolluhraa confronting another fiercesome Praying Manitou. DIE, VERMIN! (She died for the second time for the day shortly after this picture was taken - ED.) )

Late evening: after cutting my profits, I check my spoils. Amongst them are a couple of keys to chests strewn around town, holding goodies for newcomers such as me.

A DarkLife Level 1 Chest and its accompanying key. What treasures lie concealed within?

Several chests later, I'm about 200 gold richer, and my backpack is completely restocked on beneficial potions of all shades... Time to celebrate! I sadly confess that i can't really hold my mead well, but that doesn't stop me from having one glass... then having an early night. I'm sure I'll regret it tomorrow morning, but I don't have to train on New Year's Eve, so I don't care...


And while we're about it.... Have a great 2007, everyone!

Yours sincerely,

Patchyoulli Woolluhraaa
Vorpal Bunny Paladin Neophyte
Dark Life

Post #4: Emergency Chat now in session!

If anyone wants to discuss or shoot the breeze while SL is down, I will be starting a public chatroom on SLUniverse shortly. No password or registration is required, but I humbly ask that you log in using your SL name or a close derivative when you join in...

Look for 'Aoi Neko Emergency Chat' as you come in through the door. Looking forward to seeing what happens in the next four hours...

[UPDATE: Closng the doors on account of Second Life coming back to life. I'll check things for a bit, then go to sleep if nothing major needs fixing

Post #3: We are not amused

at 8am SLT yesterday, we met beez Linden and had a lovely effusive chat with her while the grid came back to life, talking about a million things, including how fast the grid seemed to be running after the asset server maintenance.

At 7am SLT today, we're taking back some things we said about the asset server that were very far from impolite, and We Are Not Very Amused.

The grid has been down for 8 hours as we write this, and this is 8 hours' worth of plans, schemes and Coonspiracies(sic) down the drain.

If Real Life was like this I'd be sitting in a camping seat from Ravenous Dingo, shooting myself in the head with a revolver from Robbie Dingo and leaving the angels to sing an Asset Server Lullaby about the 400th time this happened. Or earlier, if I lost something priceless and irreplaceable. (Props to any country fans who get this reference)

Fortunately, most of us Patchoulis are much more well grounded. If you wanted us the past 8 hours, our RL self was rampaging through the bookshops of Perth devouring every possible book, and buying a few more. We had a good meal @ a popular local vegetarian restaurant, had a good dose of Ginseng coffee (ginseng + caffeine), and rented a bunch of Bubblegum Crisis spinoffs. (A.D. Police, Parasite Dolls)

If nothing else, at what is essentially the last of midnights in 2006, I say I'm sitting pretty in the catbird seat. What about you?

I'd be interested to hear comments. Drop me a line at the end of this post - what do you do when Linden Labs is forced to pull Agni out from under you.

Yours sincerely,

Patchouli (the sensible one)

Post #2:GridMonkeys Run Amok again - Asset Server misbehaves again!

(Image cribbed from the Official Second Life Homepage - "The Grid Is Down While We Bang on Things" - accessible only during downtimes. Copyright of this image rests with Linden Labs and its use on this blog is a form of tribute, not an attempt to infringe on said copyrights. Those responsible for providing the hardware causing the problems have been interrogated in GridMonkey OOK and subsequently bashed in the head with a really big bone.)

Oh noes, here we go again... from 7am to 8am today, the Agni grid was brought down for a moment of solitude in which Lindens could work on the asset server without the millions of transactions that happen every waking moment on the grid. Once brought up, things certainly seemed hunky dory for the most part.

Less than 24 hours later, the asset server falls over again.

Symptoms occuring prior to the crash included a strange reluctance by the asset server to take in perfectly compiled LSL, refusal to open LSL scripts previously saved, and a odd tendency (as reported by TUi Neophytes Lecturer Compulov Weeks and several NCi members) of things refusing 'take copy' requests or taking a looong time to get them across.

Add to that the currently occurring issue and things look per-eeety stunted.

It happened at a pretty bad time too. True Lock, if you're reading this, IM me the next time both of us are online and we'll continue modding that Gorean Observer Tag into that technicolor titler you wanted.

Otherwise, excuse me. I have a beef stew that needs stewing while the grid is dead in the water. Beef, not Linden - although given this slip up, a lesser furry vore could be forgiven for indulging in that sort of fantasy.

Post #1: Waiting on Outside

Well, this is it: my first attempt at making a fool of myself in the part of the web that isn't on Agni. XD

As I write this, the grid has gone on a Linden-only login list while they patch up the asset servers. It's only an hour's worth of waiting, but even an hour can become almost too long for a lot of people.

I guess I should introduce myself. To save you the frustration of corny lines, I won't begin with the following lines:

• Call me Patchouli
• It was a dark and cool night
• My momma always told me there'd be days like this.

What I'll begin with is this:

Who I am in the so called real life isn't really important. This is a blog written by someone who is usually a wildcat, but prone to bouts of significant, but often transient changes.

Her favorite colors are the lighter shades of blue and the fresher shades of green, and her favorite part of the Metaverse is Second Life.

She likes watermelons, but prefers a good tangerine and blueberry salad given an open choice about dessert for dinner.


She is a furry of a decidedly unyiffy disposition, but prone to bursting into song and dance like a thousand other Luskwood furries on the Luskwood platforms, amongst the Luskwood trees. Usually a kitty, she can become a million other people, all with something blue on them. If MillionsOfUs wasn't taken, she would have pounced on it.

She is a avid fisherkitty, prowling the jetties of Simkast Cove and the Samurai Islands on a regular basis, the local station blaring in her oversized ears as she catches bigger and bigger fish. Today, a Midgar Serpent. Tomorrow... who knows? Maybe a Red Gyarados?

She is an undergrad at a SL university. She does not have the scripting skills of Timeless Prototype, the artistic perfection of Starax Statosky, or the creative flair of a million, better creators in the grid, but she tries and is willing to learn if someone deigns to spend some time and let go of some secrets... She hopes one day to snag a part-time teaching position.

She is a business incubator, spending a little monthly simply to give new merchants room to try their hand at merchandising without risking too much. She thinks not everyone is cut out to be a merchant, and that it seems harsh to ask them to risk anything significant when starting out...

She is a spoilt foxy little brat, whose only claim to power is a sheer brutal shove of personality strong enough to create its own space in People Search and bound into the Tatcave at the third worst possible time (Do a search for Patchey Woolley ^^;) ...

She used to be a military woman, but those days are mostly behind her, even though she still keeps her old pager charged and maintained for some call that might never come from her ex-CO... right next to her personal uniforms and her rifle (she calls it her 'boyfriend')...

She is a crazed weekend Paladin, whomping mosquitoes in training for bigger and deadlier foes... like critics.

She is a occasional helper, willing to offer help to people who have drained the help files and the wikis of the world drier than a desert, but has no love for griefers, and no like for people who refuse to participate properly and build up a profile of a Second Life well lived...

She is one person. She is a dozen. She is NOT Echo Omega, just so you know.

What is she really? Who knows?

Watch this space.