30 May 2010

Film Viral Videos

Newbs and Newbettes of the intake of 2010...

Shoot Viral Videos.

If I could offer you one phrase of advice, viral video would be it. The awesome of viral videos have been proven by many Youtube viewers, unlike the rest of my advice, which is based on my experience and surreality.

I will proceed to dispense this advice NOW.

Enjoy the power and beauty of your fully operational Death Star. Oh, nevermind. You will not appreciate the power and beauty of your fully operational Death Star until some backwater Jedi farmboy blows it up. But trust me, in 20 years you'll look back on your videos and recall in a way you can't imagine now when George Lucas didn't keep changing things around... how much possibility lay befor you... and how Han Solo shot first. You are not as overdosed on midichloridians as you look!

Don't worry about the future, or worry, but know that worrying is ineffective unless you have a certain DeLorean that does 88+kmph... The real troubles are things that suddenly appear in your in-tray at 4.50pm on a Friday evening and require unplanned overtime.

Do six things before breakfast that seem impossible.

Sing (but not like William Hung, for the love of god)

Don't be reckless with other people's hearts, but don't allow others to book you a room at the Heartbreak Hostel.

Floss after brushing at least twice a day.

Don't waste your time on jealousy. Sometimes you're on top, sometimes you're below... The race is long, and in the end it's only with that snotty brat who kept flinging boogers at you in Grade 1.

Remember compliments you recieve, forget the insults. But do remember to take revenge on the insults first. If you succeed in doing this, tell me how.

Keep your old love letters. Throw away your old bank statements. Get into trouble with the taxman for failing to maintain proper records later on.

Stretch (but not too hard, lest you crack something not too supple)

Don't feel guilty if you don't know what to do in Second Life. The most interesting people I know didn't know on their first rezday what to do. Some of them still don't know after seven!

Get plenty of calcium. and Vitamins B complex and C. oh and selenium

Be kind to your knees. but if they're gone for good, get titanium replacements.

Maybe you'll marry, maybe you won't / Maybe you'll have children, maybe you won't...Maybe you'll die of an abrupt heart attack at 40, maybe you'll fall asleep at 105 and forget to breath.whatever you do, don't congratulate yourself, or kick yourself. God helps your plans sometimes, and laughs at them others. He also does the same for everyone else.

Enjoy your body, use it every way you can, even if you have to get XCite parts - it's the most awesome prim you can own.

Dance (touch the Chimera danceball and accept its request for permissions to animate you)

Read the directions, always, even on newbie orientation islands.

Do not read The Alphaville Herald, it will only make you feel shiatty.

Get to know your parents, you'll never know when you have to ask for pocket money to tide you over temporarily. Get to know your siblings, it gives you the upper hand in quarrels.

Understand that friends come and go, but you should hold on to a precious few, cause the older you get, the more you need people who can listen to you babble about how the past looked better and not groan.

Live in Florida once, but leave before it makes you senile. Live in San Francisco once, but leave before someone from Linden Lab calls with a liaison job offer.

Travel! (TPs are free!)

Accept certain inalienable truths: tier fees will rise, Lindens will get fired abruptly without warning and you too will grow old... and when you do, you'll fantasise about how, when you were younger, tier fees were cheap, Lindens seemed immortal, and how newbs respected their elders

Respect Your Elders

don't expect anyone else to support you. Maybe you have a Linden Prize award, maybe you have a wealthy partner...but you'll never know when either will run out on you.

Don't mess too much with your hair, or by the time it's three weeks old, you'll need extensive prim hair implants.

Be careful with people who sell you land, but be patient with those who supply it. Land is a means of keeping prims permanently rezzed out, prettied over, and scaring visitors with your lack of artistic sense.

But trust me on the viral videos.

Edited on 10 Jun 2010 to commemorate the purge of 30% of LL's staffing

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